Have you ever had a younger person calling you “Auntie” or “Uncle”? For some people, this might come as a surprise, particularly, if you’re not related. But today, we’ll talk about twelve ways that you can respond to such a comment.
Next time someone pretends you’re family, here’s what to say…
What Does It Mean When People Call You Uncle Or Auntie?
When someone calls you “auntie” or “uncle”, it does not mean that one of your parents is their sibling. It is just a sign of respect, usually said by younger people to their elders. Usually, someone’s auntie or uncle is wiser and more respectable than we are.
Traditionally, when someone is out “auntie” or “uncle”, there is a blood relation. If either of your parents has a brother or sister, that person would be your auntie if they’re a woman, or your uncle if they’re a man.
And if that person were to marry, their spouse would also become your auntie or uncle (depending on their gender).
However, in some cultures to call someone “auntie” or “uncle” does not automatically mean there is any blood relation between the two.
When you picture an auntie or uncle, you would probably think of someone who is older, and wiser than you are. Someone who can give you advice, and help you to navigate through the various complexities of life.
In some cultures, the idea of “family” extends beyond bloodline. This means people who do not share a single DNA strand with you could be considered your auntie or uncle if they can impart wisdom upon you, and help you using their knowledge of the world.
Some would say that auntie/uncle is a nice balance between informal terms like “mate” or too formal terms like “sir”. It shows respect, whilst also remaining personal.
Very few people will mind being called “auntie” or “uncle”.
Is It Rude To Call Someone Uncle Or Auntie?
No, it is not rude to call somebody auntie or uncle. Although it may seem like you’re calling them old, in reality, you are calling them wise. If anything, to call someone auntie or uncle is the opposite of rude. So long as it’s meant respectfully.
Some people, from cultures where calling non-relatives “auntie” or “uncle” isn’t common, might get called one of those names and think that they are being insulted. This is likely because aunties and uncles are usually much older than we are, so it can be misinterpreted as being rude and making fun of your age.
But, in reality, they are very rarely calling you old. As we mentioned earlier, to call someone “auntie” or “uncle” is a sign of respect as they are inferring that you are much wiser than they are. They are also saying it to make you feel like you’re family. Even if you are not related by blood, you are still an uncle/auntie figure to them.
If you did want to insult someone’s age (perhaps because they have views that are no longer acceptable), a better word to use would be “grandad” or “grandma”. Using “auntie” or “uncle” to imply that someone needs to get with the times is highly ineffective.
The only thing that would be one step above uncle would be words like “sir” or “madam”. But, as we alluded to earlier, these terms can come across as a bit too formal. If you’re talking to people such as your parents’ friends.
Replies To Being Called Uncle Or Auntie
1. I Didn’t Marry Your Auntie
If the person you’re talking to has a good sense of humor, and understands that this is the kind of thing you would say, then feel free to use it.
You are making a joke about the literal meaning of “uncle”, and what the other person means. Of course, you know that this is not what they are implying, but the pretense that it is can create a sort of awkward comedy.
You didn’t marry their auntie, so how could you possibly be their uncle?
2. Thank You
As we mentioned earlier, to be called “uncle” or “auntie” is a sign of respect. If someone is showing you this level of respect, it makes sense that you would want to show the same back to them.
There are times when people are nice to us, and we don’t know how to respond. When this happens, there is nothing wrong with going back to basics and just saying “thank you”. It’s a phrase that very few people would complain about hearing.
3. I Am Not Quite As Wise As I Seem
This person clearly thinks of you as a wise person, perhaps for no other reason than that you have been on this planet for a few years longer than they have. However, the way you see it, you are not that mature. If you believe that the title of “uncle” or “auntie” has to be earned, and you have not earned it yet, let them know that you are not yet worthy of such high respect.
4. I’m Not Surprised. My Dad Did Have A Reputation
This is another for if both you, and the person you’re talking to have a particular sense of humor. The joke here is that your dad liked to sleep with a lot of women, so you probably have plenty of siblings, and nieces and nephews that you’re not familiar with.
This is, of course, only a joke as nobody would talk about their dads like that. But it’s still funny as you’re making it seem like you are.
5. Please, Call Me X
It could be that you don’t want them to call you “auntie” or “uncle”. Even if they mean it as a mark of respect, you might find it too formal for the kind of relationship that you have. If you would rather they just called you by your name, just let them know. Very few people will mind this. After all, if you want to keep it casual, there is nothing wrong with that.
6. I’d Be Proud If I Was
Maybe you are not related to them by blood. But, there is something about them that you rather admire. Perhaps they are brave, kind, clever, etc.
And even though they are not literally your niece or nephew, it would be nice if they were. Because sharing blood and DNA with this person would make you feel like you are part of something special.
Although, maybe don’t use this one on people you have met for the first time.
7. I Am Not Related To Your Father
This option is similar to option 1. You are making a joke about the difference between what they mean and what the dictionary says “uncle” means. Both of you are fully aware that you are not their father’s brother. But, comedy is always a great way to break the tension, and get to know people better. But, much like the first option, you should be careful that they have a similar sense of humor to you.
8. I Knew I Had Some Long Lost Family Out There
And again, you are making a joke. If this is a person who you want to like you, not just respect you, then making jokes can be a fun way of showing you are not just a wise-old-owl who demands respect. You are also a human being who can relax, and make light of these kinds of relationships.
The joke here is of course you’re surprised that you have a nephew you’ve never heard of before.
9. I Think We’re Beyond That Now
As you may have guessed, I am writing this article not long after seeing “Spider-Man: No Way Home”. And (sorry for the spoiler) in this film, there is a scene where Dr Strange says to Peter Parker “I think we’re beyond you calling me sir”. If you feel like this person has earned your respect, you can let them know that they no longer have to be so formal and respectful towards you.
If you have worked together for a while, they no longer need to treat you like you’re in a higher position than you are.
10. I’m Not That Old
As we mentioned earlier, although “auntie” or “uncle” is a sign of respect, it can be misinterpreted as calling you old. It’s very rare for a young person to be called “uncle”.
You know that they don’t mean it as an insult, and you know that they know you’re the kind of person who’s always up for a bit of banter.
By poking fun at yourself you’ll show them that you’re actually a down to earth person who doesn’t take themselves too seriously.
11. I’m Younger Than You.
Although to be called “uncle” is a sign of respect, it can make you feel strange when someone older than you says it. This could be that even though you are younger, they have a lot of respect for you, and find you to be wiser than they. However, it could also be because they are not aware that they are the older one.
Either way, it can create some awkwardness to point your age out. But it can also create humor and humility.
12. Looks Like I’ve Reached That Age Now
As we said, young people don’t usually get called uncle. So, if someone is calling you “uncle” or “auntie”, that means you have now reached a certain age.
There is no point in running away, you might as well just embrace it.
You may also like: Aunty or Auntie – Correct Spelling by Country
Martin holds a Master’s degree in Finance and International Business. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Read more about Martin here.
