"My Wife And I" vs. "My Wife And Me" vs. "Me And My Wife"

When using objects and subjects with “and” in sentences, many people are left confused. We are taught that “and I” is always right, but that is not the case. It’s a generalization, and this article will clear up any issues you might have with it.

Is It “My Wife And I,” “My Wife And Me,” Or “Me And My Wife”?

“My wife and I” is correct when using the phrase as the subject of the sentence. “My wife and me” is correct when using the phrase as the object of the sentence. “Me and my wife” is correct in the same way, but it’s less popular because it’s less polite.

The simplest thing we can teach you is to remove the first part of the phrase “my wife and.” Then, if the sentence still makes sense, you’ll know that you’re using the correct form.

For example:

My wife and I will be arriving later.
I will be arriving later.
Would you like to accompany my wife and me?
Would you like to accompany me?

As you can see, these examples show that it’s correct when removing “my wife and” from the phrase, showing how the subject “I” and the object “me” work in the sentence.

You wouldn’t use it the other way around:

My wife and me will be arriving later.
Me will be arriving later.
Would you like to accompany my wife and I?
Would you like to accompany I?

As you can see, the pronouns are all incorrect in the above examples.

Is “My Wife And I,” “My Wife And Me,” Or Me And My Wife” Used The Most?

According to Google Ngram Viewer, “my wife and me” and “me and my wife” are the most popular choices in common English. This is a strange occurrence because “me and my wife” is mostly avoided formally because of the politeness rules.

There is nothing fundamentally or grammatically wrong with a sentence using “me and my wife.” However, there is a rule of politeness that many formal writers stick to.

The rule dictates that the order of a phrase in this manner should be as follows:

Third-person first (my wife), then second-person, then first-person (me)

While swapping this around isn’t “rude” per se, it’s not common practice. Still, “me and my wife” is common in English, most likely because this politeness rule seems to be less impactful in today’s world.

Examples Of How To Use “My Wife And I” In A Sentence

Now we’ll run you through some examples. First, we’ll start with the subjective case “my wife and I.”

My wife and I will be out of town for the foreseeable future.
My wife and I would love to invite you to this party.
My wife and I need all the help we can get.
My wife and I think that you’ll benefit more from doing this yourself.
My wife and I are trying for a child!

“My wife and I” typically comes at the start of a sentence to indicate the subjective case. We can remove “my wife and” whenever we’re unsure about the correct phrase to check that “I” is the right pronoun to use.

Examples Of How To Use “My Wife And Me” In A Sentence

The objective case works in a different way, using the objective pronoun “me” in a sentence.

You should have seen my wife and me in our prime!
You can go to the docks with my wife and me.
Would you like to go to a restaurant with my wife and me?
You shouldn’t have argued with my wife and me because now our friendship is over!
He needed to talk with my wife and me about something personal to him.

“My wife and me” is the objective case. It’s common to use it at the end of a sentence or clause or as part of the middle of a clause if further information is needed. Remember, “my wife and” is removable to check whether “me” is the correct pronoun in this case.

Examples Of How To Use “Me And My Wife” In A Sentence

While not the most polite variation (according to rules), “me and my wife” is still common in English. Here’s how to use it:

Would you like to dance with me and my wife?
Would you like to have coffee with me and my wife?
She doesn’t want anything to do with me and my wife!
They don’t think they can help me and my wife.
He said that he’d like to get to know me and my wife.

“Me and my wife” is an incorrect order according to most politeness and formality rules. However, that doesn’t mean it’s grammatically incorrect, and it’s still possible to write it in this way.

Is It Ever Correct To Use “I And My Wife”?

Unlike “me and my wife,” there are no cases where “I and my wife” makes sense.

We cannot place the subjective pronoun “I” before the phrase “and my wife.” It does not fit the sentence in any case, which shows that it’s incorrect to use. The subjective pronoun must always come after the third-person variable.

Correct: My wife and I had a conversation.
Incorrect: I and my wife had a conversation.

Is It Ever Correct To Use “My Wife And Myself”?

“My wife and myself” is not correct because “myself” is a reflexive pronoun. We only use it to refer back to ourselves when we’ve already referred to ourselves in a sentence. There are some informal cases where people will use it, but it isn’t grammatically correct.

Do The Same Rules Apply To “My Husband And I” Vs. “My Husband And Me” Vs. “Me And My Husband”?

Finally, what happens when we change the character from “my wife” to “my husband?”

The same rules apply no matter what the noun is. “My husband and I” is synonymous with “my wife and I,” and “my husband and me” is synonymous with “my wife and me.” The noun does not change any of the rules.

It’s not just husbands or wives that it works for, either. It can work with any of the following:

My husband and I / my husband and me / me and my husband
John and I / John and me / me and John
My cat and I / my cat and me / me and my cat