“I’m sorry you feel that way” is a very dismissive apology. If someone says it to you, they often do not accept they are in the wrong. That’s why it helps to know how to reply to it. This article will give you the best alternatives and responses.
What Can I Respond When Someone Says “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”?
There are a few great options you can use to respond to the phrase. Here are some of the best ones we want to go over:
- Do you understand why I’m upset?
- Why do you think I feel the way I do?
- I’ll remember you said that.
- I have nothing more to say to you
- Clearly, we’ll never agree
- Why can’t you see it from my perspective?
- That’s a non-apology
- You’re not sorry
- You didn’t mean that
- Say it as if you mean it
The preferred version is “do you understand why I’m upset?” We can use this question to answer the apology to show that we want them to think more about their response. It might help to open their eyes a little more and make them more sensitive to your feelings.
Do You Understand Why I’m Upset?
“Do you understand why I’m upset” encourages someone to think as if they were you. This helps many people understand your feelings better, which might help them feel remorseful after using a non-apology phrase like “sorry you feel that way.”
Here are a few great examples to help you out:
- Do you understand why I’m upset? It’s not just because I’m weak!
- Do you understand why I’m upset? Maybe you should take a minute to think about that.
- Do you understand why I’m upset? I didn’t think you’d be this much against my point of view!
Why Do You Think I Feel The Way I Do?
“Why do you think I feel the way I do” is another great question we can ask someone after the original phrase. It works well because it encourages them to think as if they were us, and maybe that will help them to understand why we feel the way we do.
This might help somebody to take back their original “sorry you feel that way” comment. If they are able to understand your point of view after this question, it means they are redeemable, and you should give them the benefit of the doubt.
Here are a few examples of how it might work:
- Why do you think I feel the way I do? It’s not just because I’m soft. You said something to upset me.
- Why do you think I feel the way I do? Maybe you should think back to all the things you said, and you’ll find your answer.
- Why do you think I feel the way I do? It’s not fun.
I’ll Remember You Said That.
“I’ll remember you said that” is a good way to let someone know that their last comment annoyed you. Since they said “sorry you feel that way,” it shows that they were out of line, and we’ll remember the thing they said for a long time to come.
This is effective because it shows that they misspoke. It might help them to reevaluate what they said, and they might find a way to be slightly more empathetic toward your feelings or emotions.
Here are a few examples that will help you:
- I’ll remember you said that for next time. Maybe try harder to understand me, though.
- I’ll remember you said that. Just get out of my house before I force you out.
- I’ll remember you said that. Stop acting like we’re friends if you can’t find common ground with me.
“Okay” is blunt, but it works well to show that you’re biting your tongue. Phrases like “sorry you feel that way” can feel like a smack in the face and insult most people. Simply saying “okay” lets the other person know you’re upset, but you don’t want to say more.
Check out some of these examples to see it in action:
- Okay. That’s it. Good bye.
- Okay. We’re done here.
- Okay. Moving on.
I Have Nothing More To Say To You
“I have nothing more to say to you” works when we want to show that the original comment irritated us. “Sorry you feel that way” is a very offensive way to pretend like you’re apologizing to someone, so this phrase works well to shut it down.
It’s also best if you take yourself away from the situation as soon as you use this phrase. That will prevent any further arguments from taking place.
Check out some of these examples to see it work:
- I have nothing more to say to you. I think I’ll just go now.
- I have nothing more to say to you after that. It’s like you don’t understand me.
- I have nothing more to say to you now. Good bye, Matthew.
Clearly, We’ll Never Agree
“Clearly, we’ll never agree” works when we want to end an argument. If two people have opposing views, this phrase could work well to show that we have no more energy to argue, and it’s best if we part ways and accept that we still disagree.
This is a fairly abrupt way to end an argument. It might be taken to heart by the person you’re speaking to, and you could end up being the one offending them. You should be careful using this one in the wrong tone.
These examples will help you make more sense of it:
- Clearly, we’ll never agree. I think we should just leave this here.
- Clearly, we’ll never agree. Let’s just move on and pretend like this never happen.
- Well, clearly, we’ll never agree. I’m not going to apologize to you, and that wasn’t much of an apology to me, either.
Why Can’t You See It From My Perspective?
“Why can’t you see it from my perspective” works well as a question. We use it to try and get the other person to think empathetically for the first time. It might help them to understand more about why we took offense or got upset about their original comments.
Here are a few great examples of how this one works:
- Why can’t you see it from my perspective? I did not mean for this to become a thing, but I want you to at least understand me.
- Why can’t you see it from my perspective? It’s really hard to talk with you about this if you can’t be empathetic!
- Why can’t you see it from my perspective? I thought you understood me better than that.
That’s A Non-Apology
“That’s a non-apology” allows us to call out the original “sorry you feel that way.” The phrase itself is what’s known as a “non-apology,” which means someone uses the word “sorry” without feeling an ounce of regret or remorse.
While it’s not always the best idea to call someone out for their non-apology in this way, it can work well if you’re ready to stop talking to them. It will make them think more about their original phrase, which might make them give you a proper apology after all.
Here are a few examples of how it works:
- That’s a non-apology, so I will not be accepting it.
- That’s clearly a non-apology. Why would you even bother saying something like that?
- That’s a non-apology. I don’t know why you thought that was a smart idea.
You’re Not Sorry
“You’re not sorry” is the most obvious way to call out the previous apology. It’s a great response if you’re happy to come across as standoffish or argumentative. Sometimes, this is good because it can make you feel like you won the argument a little more.
Here are some examples of how it could be used:
- You’re not sorry, and you are probably never going to understand why I’m upset.
- You’re not sorry. I don’t want to talk to you about any of this now because of that.
- You’re not sorry at all. Don’t even act as if you care, mister.
You Didn’t Mean That
“You didn’t mean that” works well because it calls people out on their false apologies. Since “sorry you feel that way” never holds any specific meaning or acceptance or wrongdoing, we can use “you didn’t mean that” to call people out and make them think.
Here are some examples that’ll help you understand it:
- You didn’t mean that. Don’t even bother saying it next time.
- It’s clear that you didn’t mean that. I don’t even know why you thought to say it.
- You didn’t mean that. Stop pretending as if you care!
Say It As If You Mean It
“Say it like you mean it” is a dismissive way to accept the apology. We use it when we know that someone is not directly “sorry” for upsetting us, and we want them to understand that we see through the things they are saying.
We can use this response in the following ways:
- Say it as if you mean it. Maybe next time, I just won’t talk to you.
- Sorry I ever shared my opinion then. Say it as if you mean it next time.
- Say it as if you mean it, and maybe I’d be more inclined to accept your thinly-veiled apology!
You may also like: 10 Better Ways To Say “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way”
Martin holds a Master’s degree in Finance and International Business. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Read more about Martin here.