31 Best Replies To “Are You There?”

Before someone tells you what they want from you, they might start by checking if you’re there to help them. The phrase “are you there?” can be said both offline and online. Usually, we would reply to such a question with “yes”, but here are 30 more creative and funny ways to reply.

1. Yes I’m Here

This choice is probably the most basic and simple option you could pick from. It doesn’t try to be funny or over the top, it just gets right down to what matters.

If you’re talking to someone you don’t know, or without a sense of humor, it’s best to keep it simple.

2. I’m Ignoring You On Purpose

You might need to be careful with this one. Make sure that you only use it on your friends, to avoid upsetting others. Because you don’t want to come across as rude or unpleasant.

But, when you’re not in the mood to talk to a particular person, let them know you want to be left alone.

3. Sorry, I Was Distracted

It’s far more likely, however, that you were not ignoring them on purpose. But, most of us have a limited attention capacity, and if we’re doing something, we might not hear when people want to talk to us.

Let them know that you were busy, and not ignoring them.

You may also like: 9 Better Ways To Ask “Are You There?” On A Call

4. It Depends Where “there” Is.

This option is great if you’re speaking to someone either online or via the phone.

Because the word “there” is more open to interpretation than many people like to think. So, to answer their question honestly, you might want to clarify what they mean by “there”.

5. No, I’m Not There, I’m Here

As we mentioned previously, the word “there” is open to interpretation. From their perspective, you’re there. But from your perspective, you’re here.

This reply creates a silly and fun joke out of this fact. Because from where you’re standing you are here. Not there.

6. Maybe

The joke here is that you are clearly there. But you’re pretending that you might not be. If you weren’t there, there would be no way that you could respond.

This is still not a lie as it’s true that you might be there. A great option for people who want to be funny but dislike lying.

7. No I’m Not

If you don’t mind lying for comedy, perhaps saying you’re not there is better. A comedic lie only works if it’s obvious it’s a lie.

When you say you are not there, you are automatically lying as you need to be there to reply.

8. I Am For Now

For the time being, you are there. But, you intend on leaving or going out soon. Let them know that your time of being “there” is limited, so if they want something from you, they need to hurry up and let you know.

9. Sorry For The Late Reply, I Was Busy

This is a fantastic option for when you’re speaking to someone online. In our technologically filled world, some people might expect an immediate reply. But, the reality is that not everyone can reply quickly, because of work, or other commitments.

An apology followed by an explanation will let them know that you were just busy and not ignoring them.

10. Yes, I Will Get To You In A Minute

You are not ignoring them because you dislike them. But, you like to do one task, and finish it before moving on to the next one. If people are unable to respect this, let them know, indirectly, that they are not going to stop you from doing whatever else you are currently doing.

11. I Am, But I’m Afraid I Can’t Talk Right Now

Not everyone is good at multitasking. Perhaps you are in the middle of an important task. Or maybe you’re engrossed in another conversation.

You do not want to stop what you’re doing.

This reply might come across as a bit rude, but if you can’t talk, letting them know seems nicer than just ignoring them.

12. My Body Is. Not Sure About My Mind

This reply plays on the philosophical idea of what “you” is. To some people, “you” just means your physical body. But for others, it’s the mind, something that never changes.

There are times when we are physically in one place, but our mind is somewhere else.

13. That Depends On What You Want

Some people are annoying. And you don’t know if this person wants to talk to you because they have some valid question to ask, or if they just want to be a pain. This reply lets them know that whether or not you respond to them depends on whether you want to help them.

14. I’m Here For Now, But Be Quick Because I Won’t Be For Long

If you are but don’t plan on being there for long. If it’s just a quick question they want to ask, that’s fine. But, if they want you to do something more, they might have to wait for another time.

15. I Don’t Understand The Question

This reply is funny. Because you clearly do understand the question, you replied so you must be there. But, acting stupid is one of the oldest forms of comedy.

Creating this “stupid” character will make the other person like you more.

16. Are Any Of Us Truly Here?

An idea that plays on the philosophical question of “Are we real?”. Because there is no concrete evidence that any of us exist. We might just be simulations on a computer.

This response to “Are you there?” combines comedy and philosophy to create an answer that will confuse and amuse the person who asked.

17. Well, You Can See Me Can’t You?

A fantastic response for when the person is right in front of you. Them asking “Are you there?” is stupid because they can clearly see that the answer is “yes”.

Point out the stupidity of their question. Let them know there is no point in trying to find out if you are there or not. Because you very clearly are.

18. Go Away

In an ideal world, we would want to speak to anyone all the time. But, most of us like to be alone sometimes. Or, there are just certain people that annoy us.

If someone you don’t want to talk to wants to talk to you, “go away” is a blunt and direct way of letting them know that you do not wish to talk.

19. Not Yet, I Will Be In A Bit

Perhaps a good response to when you’re talking to someone on your phone, and they want to know if you’ve arrived at a certain place.

You have not arrived just yet. But, you are on your way, and you hope to arrive very shortly.

20. No, I’m Fred

A funny reply. You are purposely misunderstanding their question. You know what they really mean, but you’re interpreting it as “Is your name ‘There’?”.

Obviously, if your name isn’t Fred, feel free to change that part to whatever your name is.

21. No, I’m Human

Very similar to the previous one. You are intentionally misunderstanding what they mean by “there”. Because you are interpreting it as “Is your species ‘there’?”.

This is silly, “there” is not a species. But, the silliness is just what makes it funny.

22. To You, I’m There. To Me, I’m Here

We mentioned earlier that “there” is subjective. This reply plays with that fact with humor.

Because according to them, you are “there”. But of course, their “there” is your here.

It might make them a bit confused. But, if it does, that will just make it funnier for you.

23. Why Does That Matter?

Maybe you get the feeling they are just asking you because they want to annoy you. If you get this feeling, it might be wise to clarify it before acting on it.

If they want you for something, they can explain what they want. But, if they just want to be annoying, they can go away.

24. No, Please Ignore The Fact It Says I’m Online

This one is the only version of “No, I’m not”. You clearly are there- not only does it say you’re online, but you’re also able to reply.

When said to the right person, this blatant lie can be funny.

25. Why Does It Matter If I’m There Or Somewhere Else?

This reply is just a silly reply. It doesn’t make much sense, but not everything has to. If all you want is a laugh, this is a great reply to use.

26. Not Sure About There. But I’m Certainly Somewhere

“There” is subjective. And if you don’t understand what they mean by “there”, you cannot clarify if you are there are not.

However, regardless of where “there” is, you cannot deny that you are somewhere.

27. This Information Is Not Relevant

Maybe it matters to them. But it doesn’t to you.

29. Only If You Want Me To Be

A funny reply that makes it sound like you can magically disappear if they do not want you to be there.

30. That Depends On Whether Or Not You’re Mad At Me

Funny because if they are mad, then you are not there. But, if they’re not mad, then you are.

31. No. I Am Dead, You’re Speaking To A Ghost.

Obviously not true. Which just makes it even funnier.