How to Politely Ask “Who Is This?” over Text

If you’ve received a text message from a number you don’t recognize, you should ask who’s trying to contact you. That way, you can know the best way to reply.

This article has gathered some great alternatives showing you how to ask “who is this?” in different ways.

• Who am I chatting with?
• I don’t appear to have your number saved
• I’m afraid you’re not in my contacts
• Do you mind telling me who this is?
• I’m uncertain who this is. Could you please tell me?
• Unfortunately, your number is not saved on my phone
• I’m so sorry, but my phone doesn’t recognize your number
• Can you remind me who this number belongs to?
• Please let me know who’s on the other end of this text

Keep reading to learn how to politely ask someone why they are texting you. There are plenty of great choices, so choose the one you think works best for you.

1. Who Am I Chatting With?

One of the best ways to ask “who are you?” politely is “who am I chatting with?” It works better than “who is this?” because it shows you’d like to know more about the sender.

This is a great way to show you’re keen to find out who someone is. We recommend using it as a more friendly alternative if possible.

That way, you will not hurt the recipient’s feelings. For instance, if it’s one of your closest friends yet you don’t have their number saved, you may offend them!

Here are two great examples to help you with it:

• Who am I chatting with? I’m really sorry, but your number isn’t on my phone, so I can’t confirm who’s on the other end.
• Wait, who am I chatting with? I hope it’s someone new; otherwise, I’d feel bad for not saving your number!

2. I Don’t Appear to Have Your Number Saved

You can ask an unknown person who they are by saying “I don’t appear to have your number saved.” It’s a great statement that remains polite and honest.

Use it the next time you receive an unknown text. It lets the recipient know they need to announce themselves before you can feel comfortable enough to reply.

The following text message samples should also help you:

• I don’t appear to have your number saved! I’m so sorry about that, but can you tell me who this is?
• I don’t appear to have your number saved. You seem to know me, but I’m afraid I don’t know you.

3. I’m Afraid You’re Not in My Contacts

Another example of what to text when you don’t know who it is will be “I’m afraid you’re not in my contacts.” It’s effective and polite, showing you’re keen to understand who someone is.

We recommend using this to show that someone isn’t saved. You may vaguely remember the number, but if you haven’t saved them, you might not know the name.

It’s always best to ask for someone’s name before continuing a conversation. Then, you’ll know who you’re speaking to and what they might want.

You should check out these examples if you’re still unsure:

• Oh, I’m afraid you’re not in my contacts! It must be a fault on my side, but who is this, please?
• I’m afraid you’re not in my contacts. I’ll fix that ASAP! Can you let me know who’s contacting me, please?

4. Do You Mind Telling Me Who This Is?

You can ask “who are you?” in WhatsApp or text message by using “do you mind telling me who this is?”

It’s a great phrase to include that keeps things open and direct. You should use it when you don’t want to upset the recipient.

You can also review these message samples:

• Do you mind telling me who this is? You haven’t come up as a saved contact on my phone!
• Do you mind telling me who this is? I’d like to talk more, but I don’t appear to have a name associated with this number.

5. I’m Uncertain Who This Is. Could You Please Tell Me?

Feel free to include “I’m uncertain who this is. Could you please tell me?” It allows you to nicely ask “who is this?” Also, it keeps things slightly more formal and respectful.

We recommend using it when you don’t know the number but think it’s an important text. That way, it allows you to recognize the importance of the text without directly knowing who messaged it.

Here are some text message examples to help you with it:

• I’m uncertain who this is. Could you please tell me? It would make it a lot easier for me to answer.
• I’m uncertain who this is. Could you please tell me? Then, I’d be more than happy to move forward.

6. Unfortunately, Your Number Is Not Saved on My Phone

“Unfortunately, your number is not saved on my phone” is a formal way to ask who someone is. It works well when receiving important messages without knowing the recipient.

It’s likely that the person on the other end is a coworker or employer. It’s worth asking their name to save them as a contact.

Of course, you should only do this when you have a rough idea who might be texting you. It lets them know you’ll happily save them as a contact once they provide you with their name.

Also, these examples should help you understand things a bit better:

• Unfortunately, your number is not saved on my phone. Please remind me who this is before we continue.
• Unfortunately, your number is not saved on my phone. I’m unsure who you are, and I could use a refresher!

7. I’m So Sorry, but My Phone Doesn’t Recognize Your Number

You should ask who is texting you by starting with “I’m so sorry.” It shows you regret not knowing a number, even if you don’t know the person.

After that, include “but my phone doesn’t recognize your number.” This passes the blame to your phone rather than allowing you to take personal responsibility.

Why is this important?

Well, if a friend or coworker is texting you, they might expect you to save their number. So, if you blame your phone, it shows you are not rude and deliberately keeping their number out of your contacts.

Here are some text message samples to show you how it works:

• I’m so sorry, but my phone doesn’t recognize your number. Could you remind me who this is?
• I’m so sorry, but my phone doesn’t recognize your number! I hope you’re not one of my closest friends!

8. Can You Remind Me Who This Number Belongs To?

“Can you remind me who this number belongs to?” is a formal and direct question. It shows you’d like to save someone’s details on your phone because you haven’t already.

Also, it works well when you’ve received a random text. It shows you do not trust the sender and would like to know more about them before you engage in anything.

The following examples should also help you with it:

• Can you remind me who this number belongs to? I’m interested in hearing more, but I’m unsure who’s speaking.
• Can you remind me who this number belongs to? I don’t seem to have you saved as a contact.

9. Please Let Me Know Who’s on the Other End of This Text

You can write “please let me know who’s on the other end of this text” instead of “who is this?”

It’s a bit wordier, but it works well as a more formal and respectful choice.

Try it when you don’t trust the sender. It might work well when replying to a scam text, as it shows you won’t reply to them until they at least give you a name you trust or recognize.

You should also review these text examples:

• Sorry, but please let me know who’s on the other end of this text. I’m drawing a blank at the minute.
• Please let me know who’s on the other end of this text. My phone doesn’t recognize your number, I’m afraid!

Should I Respond to an Unknown Text?

Generally speaking, it’s okay to respond to an unknown text. However, this is very situation-dependent, and you absolutely need to be careful.

For instance, someone might text you saying:

• Hi, thanks for talking to me the other day!

This could be an innocent text. It may be worth replying to the person saying you don’t recognize who they are.

That way, they might confirm they’ve got your number wrong and try to correct it. Alternatively, you may have just forgotten about the person on the other side, and they can remind you who it is.

The one thing you have to do, though, is watch out for scam texts. It’s very easy for scammers to text you, pretending they know you from an unknown number.

You should try to avoid replying to scammers. If you do, it lets them know your number is active, and they’ll try anything they can to get something out of you.

But, as long as you’re sure the text isn’t a scam, you can respond. There’s nothing wrong with letting someone know they have the wrong number.