Have you ever wondered what to say when someone calls you short? Fear not; we’re here to help you come up with the best comebacks to make yourself feel much better. This article will explore some of the best phrases you can use to snap back at someone.
The best comebacks when someone calls you short are “at least I’m not you,” “you only grow until you’re perfect,” and “back off!” These work well to show that you do not mind the insult. They also show that you’re happy to bite back or turn the insult around.
1. At Least I’m Not You
“At least I’m not you” is a good way to flip the insult around on the person who called you short. It shows that you’d rather not have the same personality as whoever decided to insult you or your height.
- Hey, at least I’m not you! That would suck.
- At least I’m not you! I’m a lot better than that!
2. You Only Grow Until You’re Perfect
“You only grow until you’re perfect” shows that you’re happy being short and wouldn’t change anything. It works best when talking to taller people because it implies that they need more growth before they reach their “perfect” level.
- Well, you only grow until you’re perfect. Clearly, you took a lot longer.
- You only grow until you’re perfect. I just got there quicker.
3. Back Off!
“Back off!” is a standoffish comeback, but it’s common to see. It shows that you do not appreciate being called short and gives the person saying it a chance to apologize or back away from you.
- Back off! There’s no need to insult me like that.
- Hey! Back off! There’s no need for that kind of nonsense.
4. I Can’t Hear You From All the Way Down Here
“I can’t hear you from all the way down here” is a great choice to show that you make fun of yourself for being short. This is known as self-deprecating humor, and it’s a good way to make you seem more personable and friendly when talking to others.
- I can’t hear you from all the way down here. You’ll have to speak up.
- I can’t hear you from all the way down here. I’ll just have to ignore you.
5. The Bigger They Are, the Harder They Fall
“The bigger they are, the harder they fall” is a great idiom you can use as a comeback. It shows that you don’t mind being short because you know you won’t fall hard when someone tries to bring you down. On the contrary, taller people will have a longer way to fall (resulting in more pain).
- The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Didn’t you learn anything at school?
- The bigger they are, the harder they fall. I would much rather be me.
6. Ever Heard of David and Goliath?
“Ever heard of David and Goliath?” is a great response to show you’re smart and witty. It shows that you believe the small guy will win in the end, so you don’t mind being considered “short” by most tall people (the tall people are “Goliath”).
- Ever heard of David and Goliath? Do you remember who wins?
- Ever heard of David and Goliath? That’s basically what you’re referring to.
7. What’s the Weather Like Up There?
“What’s the weather like up there?” is a great comeback to use. It shows that someone is much taller than you. They’re so tall that they have their own weather system around them, which might often put a downer on their mood.
- What’s the weather like up there? It must be awful if you’re in such a sour mood.
- What’s the weather like up there? I bet it’s horrible! Thanks for the cover.
8. Wait, I’m Short?
“Wait, I’m short?” is a funny response implying that you had no idea you were short until someone noticed it. It’s used sarcastically to show someone that they’ve stated the obvious because you already knew you were short.
- Wait, I’m short? Oh, my gosh! I had no idea.
- Wait, I’m short? Thank you for pointing that out!
9. Since When?
“Since when?” is another great way to show someone that their comment on your height was pointless. It shows that you do not care about being short because you have already accepted that’s who you are.
- Since when? I could have sworn I was over six feet this morning.
- Since when? I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed.
10. I Had No Idea! Thank You for Telling Me
“I had no idea! Thank you for telling me” is a great phrase to use sarcastically. It shows that you know you’re short and don’t need someone to remind you. It’s a fun way to shut down a bully when they think they’re being clever.
- I had no idea! Thank you for telling me! What would I do without you?
- I had no idea! Thank you for telling me! You’re so observant!
11. The Best Things Come in Small Packages
“The best things come in small packages” is a great way to show confidence in your comeback. It tells the person insulting you that you think you’re great and don’t need their approval.
If you can come across as confident in any comeback, you’re bound to be able to shut the insulting person up. They won’t want to say anything else at the risk of you humiliating them.
- The best things come in small packages. I suppose you wouldn’t know about that.
- The best things come in small packages. I’m clearly better than you.
12. I’m Not Short. I’m Concentrated
“I’m not short. I’m concentrated” is a play on words that refers to “concentrated” things that are packed into small spaces. Here, “concentrated” implies that you have a lot of value packed into a small space.
- I’m not short. I’m concentrated awesomeness. You wouldn’t get it.
- I’m not short. I’m concentrated. You get the best of me all the time.
13. I’m Down-To-Earth
“I’m down-to-earth” is a great pun showing that you’re closer to the ground than most people. The implication here is that you are short (thus closer to the earth), but you are also grounded, allowing you to carry a much more confident personality about yourself.
- I’m not short. I’m down-to-earth. I’m much easier to talk to than you are.
- I’m down-to-earth. You wouldn’t understand from all the way up there.
14. At Least I Can Keep My Head Up
“At least I can keep my head up” refers to you having to look up when talking to someone taller than you. It is a double meaning, as it also implies that you are always much happier than the person who decided to insult you.
- At least I can keep my head up. You have to tilt your head down.
- At least I can keep my head up. You’re constantly looking down on people.
15. At Least I Don’t Walk Into Things
“At least I don’t walk into things” is a fun response you can use. It shows that taller people always bang their heads or walk into things that they misjudge.
For short people, most of these issues don’t occur. They are never tall enough to hit their head against objects.
- At least I don’t walk into things. If only you knew how that felt.
- At least I don’t walk into things. What’s it like to walk into the ceiling fan?
16. I’ve Learned to Live With It
“I’ve learned to live with it” is a good comeback in many cases. It shows that you are comfortable with your own height. You should use this phrase when you do not feel like you have to prove anything to anyone.
- I’ve learned to live with it. Maybe you should too!
- I’ve learned to live with it. I’m sure you’ll figure out how to do it too.
17. Give It up for Captain Obvious
“Give it up for Captain Obvious” is a great phrase to use when mocking someone for commenting on an obvious thing. In this case, if it’s clear that you’re short, you can use this phrase to mock the person who pointed it out.
- Give it up for Captain Obvious! What a genius you are.
- Give it up for Captain Obvious! You’re so clever for noticing.
“And?” is a blunt response, but sometimes a response like this is necessary. It shows that you do not care about your height and want to know why someone is questioning you about it.
“And?” as a one-word question means that you expect someone to explain themselves more. It shows you want to know why they are talking about things the way they are.
- And? What do you want me to say to that?
- And? Is there a reason you brought that up?
19. Your Point Being?
“Your point being?” is an extension of “and?” as a question. You should use this when you want to question why someone thought it was appropriate to comment on your height.
- Your point being? Or are you just trying to bully me?
- Your point being? I don’t know why you said that.
20. I’m Fun-Sized
“I’m fun-sized” is a joke reply you can use to show that you have a good personality and are enjoyable to be around. People’s heights don’t affect their personalities, so you should use this phrase when you are comfortable in yourself and what you bring to the table.
- I’m not short. I’m fun-sized. There’s a big difference.
- I’m fun-sized. You’ll find out soon enough!
21. Clearly, You’re a Fan
“Clearly, you’re a fan” is an interesting comeback you can use. It shows that you’re flattered that someone has called you out for being short. You can use it as a joking way to show them that you’re proud of your height.
It also implies that you think they’ve picked out your height because they’re a fan of yours. This is particularly effective if you know the person commenting on your height doesn’t like you. This is sure to rub them up the wrong way.
- Clearly, you’re a fan. Otherwise, you wouldn’t talk to me.
- Clearly, you’re a fan. What else do you like about me?
22. You’re Tall
“You’re tall” is a simple comeback you can use. It states the obvious fact that someone is taller than you. If they’re already commenting on you being short, the implication is that they’re taller.
It uses the obvious statement to show that their original comment was stupid or unnecessary.
- And you’re tall. Are we listing obvious things?
- You’re tall. There. I said it.
23. I Don’t See Why That’s a Problem
“I don’t see why that’s a problem” shows that you have no issues with your height. If someone has tried to call you out for being short, you can use this phrase to show them that you don’t care what they think.
- I don’t see why that’s a problem. Do you?
- I don’t see why that’s a problem. Can you enlighten me?
24. Good to Know
“Good to know” is a confident way to brush off a negative comment about yourself. It shows that it is “good to know” the information (i.e. being told you’re short), but you didn’t find much point to it.
It’s a dismissive comment showing someone that their calling you short has had no effect on you.
- Good to know. So, have you got anything nice to say?
- Good to know. I’ll be sure to fix my height as soon as I can!
25. I Had No Idea!
“I had no idea!” is a great phrase to use as a joke. It shows that you’re comfortable mocking the person who mentioned your shorter stature. It implies that you weren’t aware of your own height until someone else pointed it out.
It’s a good choice if you’re looking for a funnier response.
- I had no idea! You’ve given me so much to think about.
- I had no idea. Truly. You’ve helped me out so much.
Martin holds a Master’s degree in Finance and International Business. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Read more about Martin here.