Some people are rude. That’s just a fact. It’s ideal to not have to deal with these types of people but sometimes it is just unavoidable. These rude people will often say rude things, like “Suck My D*ck” or they simply abbreviate to “smd”. It’s rude to hear and it is rude to have said to you. But, what exactly are you supposed to say back to them? What makes for a great comeback to someone telling you “smd”? Well, don’t worry, below you will find 25 of the best comebacks To “smd”. But first, why do people even say or write that?
Why do people write “SMD”?
Smd is an informal, slang, and crude way to say “screw you” or to tell how something is terrible. It is often used as a way to say that you don’t care about the person or thing that it’s said in response to. For example:
“Hey! You owe me ten dollars!”
“Suck my d*ck, I’m not paying you.”
Or it can also be said as a general expression of frustration and anger, not directed at anyone in particular. For example:
“Suck my d*ck… I got a 60 on the test.”
A third way the phrase can be used is in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended. For example:
“Travis, I bet you won’t score this next point.”
*scores next point*
*laughing* “Suck my d*ck, Kyle.”
Those are the three main reasons you may see someone say or write “smd”. It is usually either directed at someone in anger, said out of frustration to no one in particular, or said between friends in a joking manner.
Is it rude to write SMD?
The short answer is, yes. It is a pretty rude thing to say or write. Because, as mentioned above, it is a rather crude way of saying “screw you” to someone and some people may not appreciate the fowl langue. More often than not saying or writing “smd” will come across very rudely. However, it’s not always rude. On some occasions, as mentioned above, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended.
Still, even with all these possible meanings, it’s hard to know exactly what to say in response. But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place.
25 Best Comebacks To “SMD”
It is hard to know exactly what to say when some says to you “smd” but it would be nice to have a clever or witty response handy. These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind if you want to seem clever or witty.
Sometimes it’s just best to be clever in your response to make the other person seem dumb or silly.
Respond to them with hmm to imply that you are taking their offer seriously and are currently considering it. This will likely leave them dumbfounded.
2. No, thank you.
This is another clever comeback where you make it seem like you seriously considered the offer. Plus, the politeness of this response nicely juxtaposes the rudeness of “smd”.
This is another great one that takes the offer seriously. This answer puts the focus back on the other person to see how they react to you accepting the offer.
4. What does that mean?
A clever response can be to pretend to not understand the statement. Forcing the other person to awkwardly explain what they meant by “suck my d*ck”, likely making the flustered or embarrassed.
Don’t respond to their “smd” taunt. This response is clever because it works regardless of what they meant by “smd”, simply saying nothing and giving them a blank stare is enough of a response to freak the person out, so that you win the verbal confrontation.
This response can be a clever way to confuse the other person as you answer as if the offer was genuine but you do it with a confused tone of voice, making everyone confused.
Sometimes, you might be in a goofy mood or just want to laugh, so when someone tells you “smd”, you decide to give them a witty response. Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two:
7. Are you sure? I mean, I kiss your mother with this mouth.
This comeback is witty because it takes the negative rude energy of “smd” and sends it right back to them by implying you’re having a relationship with their mother.
8. No thanks, I have a toothpick already.
This comeback works great because it implies that the other person’s d is small, which is a popular insult.
9. I can’t suck something that doesn’t exist.
This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck.
10. I’ve got to find it first. It’s so small.
This is a third witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. Which, again is a big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is “smd”.
11. First, you’ve got to have one.
This is a fourth witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. Which would cut deep for most people whose go-to insult is “smd”.
12. Sure, as soon as you get it out of your a*s
This is a witty comeback that incorporates that classic insult of someone having a stick up their a*s.
13. Only on Wednesdays. *wink*
This response is very mysterious and confusing, it means nothing but people will probably not know how to react but laugh.
14. Woah! I hadn’t thought of that!
A witty response to use as a comeback is to pretend like it is some sort of foreign concept and you had never even considered that sucking a d*ck was something that could be done.
15. OK, let’s see it.
This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen.
16. I thought you’d never ask.
This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by pretending that it’s something that you’ve been waiting for.
17. At least take me to dinner and a movie first.
This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you go on a date together first before you will suck anything.
18. You have one?
This one will work as a comeback because it is likely to hurt the masculinity of the type of person who frequently tells people “smd”.
19. You first.
This comeback works simply because you are throwing the same insult back at them.
20. Sure, for $20.
This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would be willing to do it if you got paid.
21. Don’t threaten me with a good time!
This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would enjoy doing it.
22. You can’t afford me.
This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle.
23. No way, I don’t know where that thing has been!
The witty comeback works because it is implying that the person’s d is dirty and you don’t want to be anywhere near it.
24. You have such a way with words.
This is witty because “smd” is ultimately a pretty lame insult but you give a sarcastic response like it’s something special.
25. I didn’t know you knew French!
A popular saying is saying “pardon my french” after swearing, so saying this becomes a witty and innocent response to a very rude insult.
Choose Your Answer Carefully
Choosing between a clever or witty response is not always an easy thing to do. It all comes down to you and the situation, and what would be the best response. When someone says “smd”, you have the choice to be clever or witty. Clever responses are better for when you are maybe annoyed or angered by the person who said “smd” and you want to one-up them with a clever response that makes you look smart.
Witty responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like a conversation with friends. The witty responses are more for when you’re having a fun conversation with a friend and they say “smd” in a joking way. Having a witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful.
It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or witty response.
Martin holds a Master’s degree in Finance and International Business. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Read more about Martin here.