We can apply the idiom “taken for granted” to many aspects of life. Whether it’s about things we think are the truth or about people that we underestimate the value of. Let’s look into it a little more and help you know whether you’re being taken for granted.
What Does It Mean To Be Taken For Granted?
To be taken for granted means two things. First, it means to accept something as the absolute truth without any need to question it further. Second, it means to underestimate the value of a person or a thing in your life. You usually appreciate the value again once that thing is gone, but it is too late to change anything. If you feel like you’re being taken for granted, we’ll include some information on this later in the article.
How To Find Out If Someone Takes You For Granted
There are a few ways you can find out if someone is taking you for granted. The first (and most apparent) way of knowing sees how they treat you. There is a meaning associated with being taken for granted when someone displays ungratefulness or general unhappiness. If you’ve noticed somebody’s attitude towards you change in this way, then you may be taken for granted.
Be careful approaching the topic of being taken for granted, though. Many people don’t realize they’re doing it. If you call them out without being sure, it could have disastrous consequences for your friendships or relationships.
We thought it would help to make a list of ways you can tell if someone is taking you for granted. If one of these applies to you, it might be time for a conversation.
- They no longer appreciate the little things you do for them.
- They expect you to complete tasks you usually complete without any help or input from them.
- They sit around expecting you to crack on with the work required.
- They cancel plans when you try your hardest to arrange something with them.
- They no longer talk to you in the same way they used to.
If you’ve noticed any of these problems between you and someone you know, you are being taken for granted. As we’ve said, many people don’t realize they’re doing it.
You have to be sensitive when you approach the topic. However, it’s never nice to be taken for granted, so make sure you let them know how much it’s hurt your feelings.
7 Situations Where A Person Is Taken For Granted
If you’re unsure whether you’re being taken for granted, we’ve included some situations that are common for people to be taken for granted.
Suppose you find that any of the seven following situations apply to you. In that case, you may need to have a conversation with the people taking you for granted to remedy the situation.
1. In A Relationship
This is perhaps one of the most common places to be taken for granted. If you’re in a relationship with someone, eventually, that person can start to drift away from you emotionally.
It’s the unfortunate consequence of time. The longer you’re in a relationship with somebody, the more likely they’ll start to take you for granted. But what are the telling signs?
Not all long-lasting relationships include one of the partners taking the other one for granted. Healthy relationships are built on trust and communication. If you’re noticing that the trust and communication have left your relationship, then you may be taken for granted more than you realize.
Let’s look at a list of examples:
- You may do all the chores if you live together and they never offer to help.
- You may buy them lovely gifts on special occasions, but they might not put the same effort in for you.
- They might not text or call you when you’re not with them to find out how you’re doing.
- They might not ask you how your day was or if there’s anything you want to do together as a couple.
- You may not have met many of their friends during your relationship, while they’ve met your entire friend group and family.
2. In A Group Project
If you’re taking part in a group project, whether at school, college, work, or something else, you may be taken for granted. This can happen in various ways, too, so we’ll cover a few of them.
If you’re taking on a leadership role, where you’re in charge of the group, then your group may expect you to do more work than any of them are willing to do. If you’re more of a worker role and being led by someone else, the leader might not respect your ideas and input and make you do the work without any praise or indication that you’re helping out.
Things to look out for include:
- A leader not listening to your ideas and not valuing you as an essential member of the group.
- Someone in the group not paying attention to your leadership and ideas and either ignoring the activity or ignoring you personally.
- Having someone else copy your ideas or claim them as their own after you’ve already said them.
- Not being respected or communicated with in a kind manner by your group.
- Being expected to put more work in than the rest of the team.
3. In A Family
You may not realize it, but you may be taken for granted by your family. It’s not something many of us want to think about because we often value our family members above everyone else in our lives.
To find out that they take us for granted is never pleasant, and it’s crucial in situations like this to tell them as soon as you feel like you’re being taken for granted before the issue spirals out of control.
Your family is important, and sometimes family members forget just how important. When you’ve lived with the same people for most of your life or been close to them, it’s easy to forget all the wonderful things they’ve gone for you growing up. It’s mostly children that take their parents for granted.
Let’s see some examples of when children might take their parents for granted:
- They might not thank you for doing any of the grocery shopping or common household chores – they simply expect them to get done.
- They might not be willing to help you out around the house with chores, claiming it to be your job as the parent.
- They might not call or text you when they’re hanging out with friends and expect you to be OK with it (only finding out when they arrive home).
- They don’t talk to you about their school or workdays and spend their time away from the family.
- They lock themselves away in their bedroom without many conversations.
4. In A Workplace
One of the most common places to feel underappreciated in the workplace.
If we asked the whole world how they felt about their value at work, we’d find that most people believe they’re being taken for granted. This is usually because it’s true. It’s too easy for big corporations and bosses to ignore their employees’ welfare and happiness while at the job.
Feeling underappreciated at work is one of the leading causes of resignation. People don’t believe that they’re valued and feel like their bosses can replace them in a heartbeat. The age-old saying “if you die tomorrow, your boss will fill your position by the end of the week” shows you how much you matter to your company.
Of course, not all companies take their employees for granted, but here’s what to look out for:
- Your workload stacks up as your boss keeps throwing new things at you to do before you’ve completed your previous tasks.
- You’re giving a workload that doesn’t balance out compared to the pay you’re getting.
- You’re paid the bare minimum for your country or state and expected to work long hours.
- You’re asked to give overtime to the company without any extra benefits or perks to encourage you to do so.
- You can’t take a day off sick or to yourself without the boss telling you off for doing so.
5. Being Asked For Advice
Sometimes, a specific scenario like being at work or in a relationship doesn’t have to be the case. Think back to the last time somebody asked you for advice (and think about how often it happens). Whether it’s a friend, family member, or an acquaintance you barely know, if someone asked you for advice, you could be taken for granted.
Most of the time, when asking for advice, people are looking for help. However, sometimes, they’re only coming to you because they know you’ll have the answer and would instead not do any of the legwork themselves to find it out. If you’re asked for advice a lot and never thanked for it, you could be underappreciated and taken for granted.
Let’s see how we can tell if this is the case for you:
- You’re asked for advice a lot about fields you know a lot in, but you’re never thanked for giving valuable advice.
- People never come back to tell you how well your advice worked.
- It seems like people only ask for you when they want something, rather than showing a genuine interest in you and your life.
6. Expecting You To Be Free
Just like what we said above, your friends and family might expect you to be free sometimes. This is a common way to take somebody for granted.
Imagine if one of your family members has something lined up for the weekend and has asked you to look after their new baby. However, you’re not free and turn them down. If they get mad at you for this, then you might be taken for granted.
If someone expects you to be free while they’re off doing their own thing and having a fun time, you’re being taken for granted. If they complain that you can’t help them, rather than appreciating it and finding alternative people to help, then you need to talk to them about it.
Let’s show you some examples of when this might apply:
- You’re asked to step in and help the family while they’re away, but you’re not free, so they get angry at you.
- Your friends expect you to cancel your plans to make time for them.
- People only want you to help when they can’t do it themselves.
7. Asking For Money
Finally, this one comes under the same clause as being asked for advice. If people consistently ask you for money, they may be taking you for granted.
It’s usually obvious when someone has a lot of money, and it can be easy for friends and family to ask those people to help them out of jams and tricky situations.
If your friends and family ever ask you for money and never pay it back, then they’re taking advantage of you. The easiest solution for this one is to stop giving them money when they ask for it. Instead, encourage them to find other ways to get money without requiring your help!
What Do To If Someone Takes You For Granted?
If any of those situations apply to you, don’t worry. It’s easy to approach the situation if you feel like you’re being taken for granted. There are two main options you can work with. The two options depend on how well you know the person and how important they are in your life.
You can either approach them directly to ask them about it. Tell them how you feel and tell them that being taken for granted isn’t a pleasant feeling. This simple conversation may wake them up to the reality that they need to treat you more importantly in their life.
If they don’t play a significant role in your life, then you can simply walk away. It’s not worth it to be taken for granted by people that don’t matter!