26 Best Replies To “Go To Hell” (Funny Comebacks)

When you do something wrong, or when you’re thought to have done something wrong, you might be told to go to Hell. For some of you, this could be the worst insult you could think of. But, that does not mean you need to be helpless when it’s said to you. Here are 26 examples of what you can say back.

Why Do People Say “Go To Hell”?

Wishing eternal damnation upon someone might seem extreme, which is why we should look at the circumstances in which someone might make such a wish.

The main reason is when they are annoyed at you. To say “go to Hell”, they won’t be a bit annoyed, they will be absolutely furious. What you have done must have been serious. The severity of your actions will determine whether or not they meant it literally.

It’s more likely meant metaphorically to highlight what you’ve done.

A lot of the time, people who say “go to Hell” will not be serious, but be saying it as a joke. They are comfortable making these sorts of jokes around you as they know that you will understand it to be a joke, and not become upset with them.

If you have done something really bad, like kill their loved one, they might tell you to go to Hell, but they are not joking, and they might not mean it metaphorically.

Perhaps you haven’t done anything most people see as wrong, but they are deeply religious people who believe you have sinned. Such as homosexuality. The fact that you are now destined for Hell is nothing more than their opinion.

And finally, people might be so angry that they tell you to go to Hell without thinking about what they were saying. Often when these people have the chance to cool down, they will apologize.

Is It Rude To Say “Go To Hell?”

The main question is not so much “is it rude?”, because telling someone to burn for the rest of time is never polite. However, the question is “is it justified?”.

The first question you need to ask is whether or not they mean it. The two ways of telling someone to go to Hell without meaning it are as a joke and metaphorically. As a joke, it’s justified so long as you know it’s a joke. As a metaphor, it’s rude if you haven’t done anything that bad, just a bit annoying.

The next question is “do I deserve it?”. This is a bit nuanced, and different people will have different answers depending on the context and situation. Someone who has killed and raped several people is more likely to be told to “go to hell” than someone who argues about whether or not to leave the toilet seat up.

You may also like: Is Hell A Bad Word? (5 Places Where You Should Not Be Saying It)

Funny Comebacks

1. Only If You Join Me

Here, you are implying that the two of you are just as bad as one another, and if one of you deserves to go to Hell, it stands to reason that the other deserves the same fate.

2. That’s Not Your Choice To Make

Nobody gets to decide who goes to Hell and who doesn’t. Only God gets to decide what happens to our soul after we die.

3. Well, Only God Can Judge You

This one is similar to the last one, in that you’re making it clear that God is the only one who gets to decide that. You are humbling them and making it clear they are not that powerful.

4. With You Around, I’m Already There

This one is funny. After all, you are implying that there is no need for you to go to Hell because you are already around people who make it feel like Hell already.

5. I Hope The People There Are Nicer Than You

When you imply that literal demons are nicer than they are, it should give them a moment to reflect on the kind of person they are. If they tell you to go to Hell, probably not a very nice one.

6. I’d Love To It’s Been Really Cold Recently

This one makes light of the insult. You are joking that Hell isn’t too bad, because unlike where you are, it isn’t cold.

7. No, I’m Not Coming Home With You

If you want to be both funny and naughty, this one can be a great option. This implication here is that they are a demon, and by telling you to go to hell, they are inviting you to come back home with them.

8. Yay! I Get To See My Friends

A funny piece of self-mockery. The implication here is that you are a demon who has just been told to go away and see all of his demon friends.

9. I’ll See You Down There

If the person who said it is similar to yourself, you can let them know that if you’re going to Hell, then they will be joining you too.

10.  I’ll Save You A Seat

A similar implication to the last one. If you are both going to go to Hell, you may as well make some preparations ready for them.

11. Okay. Do You Have Directions?

You are not denying that you are going to Hell, but instead going along with the joke. If they want you to go to hell, they need to tell you how to get there.

12. Well, The Wi-Fi Has Got To Be Better Than In Here

Making light of the insult. You’re playing down just how bad Hell is by comparing it to the annoying situation of having bad Wi-Fi.

13.  I’m Afraid The Bible Says “Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged” And “Judgment Is Mine, Saith The Lord.”

And now, back onto a slightly more serious reply. If they genuinely want you to go to Hell, you can let them know that they have no right to judge you. By quoting directly from the Bible, you make clear that you understand their religion, and will not allow them to use it against you.

14. I Would But I’ve Been Banned

What you are saying here is that you are so bad that you have even managed to be banned from Hell. The worst place imaginable is too good for people like you.

15. No, I Don’t Want To Go Home Just Yet

You’re making the joke that you are a demon who belongs there. But, you are not done with having fun on Earth, and you have no intention of going back to your house just yet.

16. I’ll Stop By There On My Way To Valhalla

Replying to a Christian based insult with a Norse based reply. This may throw a spanner in the works as Hell and Valhalla are from two different countries.

17. At Least I’ll Have Some Heat Around There

If you are cold, this might be a funny reply. The idea is that whatever the issues are with Hell, at least it isn’t cold.

18. Trust Me, I’ve Already Been There.

If you’ve been through a tough time in life, you can use metaphorical language to say that you already know what suffering and misery is like.

19. So Long As You Go To Heaven

You wouldn’t mind going to Hell, so long as they are going the other way. This is, of course, a Joke.

20. Okay, Which Of The Nine Realms Did You Want Me In?

A reference to Dante’s inferno. You understand your Hell literature, and you’re not afraid to show it.

21. Christ Has Saved Me From There

A serious reply. You know that you will not go to Hell because your faith in Christ means you have been saved.

22. I Hope The Demons Inside You Return There.

Another serious reply. You are not wishing for them to go to Hell, but you are wishing for their problems to be solved so that they don’t wish such things upon others anymore.

23. One Day. But Not Just Yet

A funny joke. You will go to Hell when you die, but you might as well cause some mischief while you’re still on Earth.

24. We’re All Destined To Go There Already

If you’re going to Hell for doing what everybody else is doing, then it makes sense that you won’t be the only one there.

25. I Think Hell Will Come To Us

There is no need for you to go there. The state of the world is suggesting that Hell will come to you.

26. Oh, I’ve Been There Already. I Found It Quite Lovely

A funny joke that implies that Hell does not scare you.

How To Choose Your Answer

There might not always be an easy way to decide which reply to use when someone tells you to “go to Hell”. However, there are a few questions you might want to ask.

Are they being serious, or are they joking? You don’t want to respond seriously to something which is clearly a joke. And you may or may not want to respond jokingly to something serious.

If they are a Christian, what you reply will have a stronger impact than if you reply to an Atheist.

You need to ask yourself who is in the wrong here. Maybe use this as an opportunity to reflect on your actions. Even if you don’t deserve Hell, you may need to become a better person.

If they are being serious, do you want to make the situation worse or diffuse it? Beware that making it worse can have nasty consequences.

Conclusion

And there we have 26 ways that you can reply to the statement “Go to Hell”. Whether they are joking or serious. Literal or metaphorical, you will now have these responses to hand to come up with the perfect response.

Hopefully this article has given you something to think about and you will be better prepared next time an argument gets to that stage.